“Dead Official” Appointed to Officiate Soccer Game in Nigeria

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BBC– Nigerian football’s crisis has taken a bizarre twist with an attempt to appoint a dead referee for Sunday’s match between Warri Wolves and Giwa FC.It comes as Chris Giwa continues to challenge Nigerian Football Federation president Amaju Pinnick.

A Nigerian court has ruled Giwa should replace the Fifa-recognised Pinnick and in a move to wrest control he has named the weekend’s top-flight officials.However, among those selected is Wale Akinsanya, who died in January.Giwa’s NFF rival group sent notice of its actions to the chief operation officer of the league management company on Wednesday.

It has raised the possibility that two sets of match officials – those appointed by Giwa’s group and those appointed by the NFF – could turn up for the fixtures.

Listen, I know this is expected out of a country like Nigeria, but it is still hilarious to know that a dude who died in January was named the top official for a game this weekend in APRIL. Like yea, maybe the mail system takes a month or two in Nigeria (what mail system?) and the office didn’t get his letter of resignation, but a full three months after is just unacceptable even for those standards.

On second thought, I’m actually a licensed soccer official out here on Long Island (Yea nbd but kbd) and this stuff is expected out of the league offices even here in the US. The system they use in my location is literally out of the 90’s, and I’m surprised I am even able to get games every week. If I were to die, I think it would actually take even longer than three months for the league office to find out and stop assigning me games. Therefore, I think I have to actually change my mind and give Nigeria a pass here. Classic FIFA move too at the end there stating that the court system has to get involved in the removal of a referee from a random Nigerian soccer game. Two referees are now being appointed to the game, which I guess is slightly better than one dead guy?  FIFA at it again.

-KJ

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In the Least Surprising Headline of All Time, Outrage Sparks over Snapchat’s 4/20 “Bob Marley” Feature

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CNN– Snapchat thought it had found a way to have a little fun on Wednesday, April 20, with a Bob Marley themed graphic. But the company went a little too far, according to irate users online.

To acknowledge 4/20, known as “Weed Day,” Snapchat created a special “lens” that morphed people’s faces into Bob Marley, the late reggae icon. 

The lens added dreadlocks, a crochet slouch cap, changed the shape of eyes and noses, and darkened skin color. 

People flooded Twitter with accusations that Snapchat had created a blackface filter.

For those of you unfamiliar with the latest in the Snapchat world (I would assume most of you over the age of 25, including those who only use Snapchat to follow the GanjaGirls on BarstoolSports..), Snapchat released a Bob Marley “filter” in which one could jamaica-fy their face with various Bob Marley insignia. The posts add Marley’s signature dreadlocks, a beanie hat, and a flag bearing a Bob Marley logo to one’s face. For some reason the Snapchat folks decided to add this filter on the same day as one of the biggest weed smoking holidays of the year, which caused outrage across America.

….Just kidding, everyone is upset because the app literally black-faces your face. It’s like the creators of Snapchat read that German Soccer Blackface article a few weeks ago and thought “Man, I wish there was an easier way to photoshop in blackface”. If we look on the bright side, college kids across America will no longer have to put in the hard work and time it takes to blackface themselves before a “culturally insensitive” themed party and can simply turn to their trusted Snapchat applications that have never once let them down…

The problem I have with this outrage is that it is honestly too predictable. The second I saw this filter pop up on my snapchat, I knew instantly that someone would cause a huge commotion about it. I don’t know how this didn’t pop into the heads of the people over at Snapchat headquarters before putting this out, but something tells me these Silicon Valley guys weren’t exactly in the best frame of mind at the time….(4/20 joke for all those still high out of their minds).

 

-KJ

North Dakota Man Claims to be Jesus, Plots the Kidnapping of Obama’s Dog with Hundreds of Rounds of Ammunition

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NBC News Washington- A North Dakota man who allegedly claimed to be Jesus was arrested in D.C. this week after planning to kidnap one of the Obama family’s pets, authorities said.

Scott D. Stockert, 49, was arrested Wednesday night at a Hampton Inn near the Washington Convention Center after Secret Service agents found unregistered firearms in his truck, as well as hundreds of rounds of ammunition, according to authorities.

Agents went to the hotel after getting a “be on the lookout” alert from the Secret Service’s Minnesota field office about the alleged kidnapping plan.

He allegedly told them, “You picked the wrong person to mess with. I will (expletive) your world up.

According to the Secret Service, Stockert, of Dickinson, North Dakota, allegedly planned to take Bo, the older of two Portuguese water dogs owned by the Obamas.

While being questioned by Secret Service agents, Stockert allegedly said he’d planned to go to the Capitol to advocate for $99-per-month health care and to announce he was running for president. 

He also told the agents his parents were John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, the court document said.

Agents found an unloaded 12-gauge pump shotgun and a bolt-action rifle in Stockert’s truck, which was parked in a lot around the corner at 5th and K streets NW, according to the document.

Man, I was starting to believe this guy up until the point where he said JFK and Marilyn Monroe were his parents. Sure, he could be Jesus carrying a 12-gauge pump shotgun and bolt-action rifle, or he could be running for president (no one crazy would ever run president), but when he said they were his parents I lost it. No way would JFK and Monroe ever had a kid, he was married to Jackie Kennedy remember? Nonetheless, bold move bringing loaded guns to the white house to advocate for cheap healthcare. I only wish we could get to hear his other presidential platforms. If he is that bold to go after Obama’s dog, he is the type of person I want on my side.

P.S.- The picture below was included in the middle of the article on NBC Washington. I have no idea what the picture is or where it came from. I present it without context.

[NATL] Top News Photos of the Week

-KJ