Engineers Develop Handheld Marijuana Breathalyzer, Stoners Passively Lament Between Bong Rips

Canada.PNG

Montreal Gazette– Engineers developing a breath-based ketone sampler for diabetics have switched gears to produce a hand-held marijuana breath analyzer just as our federal government begins to explore legalization.

The device — about the size of two fingers — is a Bluetooth-enabled breathalyzer that uses microfluidic technology and a selective gas sensor to detect tetrahydrocannabinol, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. The THC levels in a sample can be analyzed within seconds and the results delivered to a smartphone.

The gas sensor at the end of the channel measures the levels of THC in the sample with a high degree of accuracy, even if the person has also consumed alcohol. The device functions accurately over a wide range of temperature and humidity, a shortcoming of other breath analyzers.

Stunning news out of Canada this morning. Is nothing sacred anymore? Engineers have now developed gas sensors to measure THC levels in a human body, even in the presence of alcohol. What a time to be alive? This can’t be good news for my friend who thinks he drives better while high (I think every stoner I have ever met has said this to me). It is only a matter of time before cops are carrying around these bad boys all over deeply-forested areas next to universities and the majority of Colorado.

On the other hand, this could be one of, if not the greatest invention of the 21st century. Do you know in college when your buddies would drink a couple 4-lokos and attempt to blow the highest BAC into a breathlyzer, even though they drank about 0.69 seconds beforehand and thus the reading was always way too high? I could see this happening ten-fold with weed smokers. Guys ripping bong hits left and right to see how high of a THC level they could get to would be funny stuff, considering they will probably fall asleep or go make some food before they even remember what they were attempting to do. It’s a shame these devices are coming out at the height of marijuana legalization, because the governments are going to look to replace those lost schedule one drug charge penalties in any way they can. If I was a gambling man (which I am), I’m placing my bets on a huge increase in DW-Highs over the next few years.

-KJ

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